Light of the Son

The early mists of morning are gray and cool. It's comfortable to walk and pray in those first few moments of daylight, waiting. And as the sun slowly peeks up over the horizon the greens and golds and reds and purples of trees and flowers and clover explode into a symphony for the eyes. Nothing has changed, except that now there is a reflection of sun off of the objects around me.

A reflection of sun.

The beauty we can see in this world is because of the rays of light from the sun.

A reflection of Son.

The only beauty I can ever offer the world is because of the rays of light from the Son.

"He must increase, but I must decrease." John 3:30

In Chapter 9 of One Thousand Gifts, Ann Voskamp says

"Humby let go. Let go of trying to do, let go of trying to control...let go of my own way, let go of my own fears. Let God blow His wind, His trials, oxygen for joy's fire. Leave the hand open and be. Be at peace. Bend the knee and be small and let God give what God chooses to give because He only gives love and whisper surprised thanks.

This is the fuel for joy's flame."

That He may shine more brightly....

#161-170, and counting...

~Shedding pounds

~New confidence in Christ

~A husband who listens

~Life changing books

~Justification

~Sanctification

~Emma on a horse

~Wind through willow

~ The first cucumber

~The cross

Building....

"Thanks is what builds trust.....Count blessings and discover Who can be counted on."

~Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts

Give thanks to the Lord of lords.

His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to Him who alone does mighty miracles.

His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to Him who made the heavens so skillfully.

His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to Him who placed the earth among the waters.

His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to Him who made the heavenly lights-

His faithful love endures forever.

Psalm 136:3-7

Building trust, with #121-130, and counting...

~Fuzzy chicks

~Smiley husband

~Bunk beds

~Dan and Matt playing nicely

~Bonfire and hot dogs after church

~Sharing popsicles with sick friends

~Walks and talks with Dee

~Uninterrupted moments in my garden

~Farming dreams

~Walking outside without a coat

Turning it around...

In chapter 6 of One Thousand Gifts, Ann Voskamp says,

"The world I live in is loud and blurring and toilets plug and I get speeding tickets and the dog gets sick all over the back step and I forget everything and these six kids lean hard into me all day to teach and raise and lead and I fail hard and there are real souls that are at stake and how long do I really have to figure out how to live full of grace, full of joy--before these six beautiful children fly the coop and my mothering days fold up quiet?

How do you open the eyes to see how to take the daily, domestic, workday vortex and invert it into the dome of an everyday cathedral?

Praying with eyes wide open is the only way to pray without ceasing."

Thanking God today for # 51-60

~Worship music

~Pics of my hardworking guys in FL

~Fractured twinkle of star in early morning window

~Sun peeping over the horizon

~Night of peace

~Washer and dryer

~Clean bedding

~Wonder on Matt's face as he raced from exhibit to exhibit at the NY State Museum

~Reconnecting with loved ones

~Honest conversation

Thankful on a Monday

I'm always amazed by the way God speaks to me through the circumstances and people around me, through the books I read or music I listen to, through the prayers of His people or the Word that comes forth from the man of God's mouth. If I'm careful to look for it, I can find a single thread, the main idea, the thesis of the chapter I'm about to enter into. For months now, God's grace, eucharisteo, and my need to live a thankful life, are the main idea. Ann Voskamp says, in chapter 5 of her book One Thousand Gifts, after her young son put his hand through a barn fan,

"God is always good, and I am always loved. Everything is eucharisteo. Because eucharisteo is how Jesus, at the Last Supper, showed us to transfigure all things--take the pain that is given, give thanks for it, and transform it into a joy that fulfills all emptiness. I have glimpsed it: This, the hard eucharisteo. The hard discipline to lean into the ugly and whisper thanks to transfigure it into beauty. The hard discipline to give thanks for all things at all times because He is all good. The hard discipline to number the griefs as grace because as the surgeon would cut open my son's finger to heal him, so God chooses to cut into my ungrateful heart to make me whole.

All is grace only because all can transfigure."

Challenges come, the storms do blow. People get sick, loved ones die, words sting, choices devestate. We pray, but the outcomes are not always what we pray for, what we hope for. But all can transfigure, and all is grace, and we can thank in the midst of the hard, the difficult, the scary or overwhelming circumstances we find ourselves in.

#41-50, and counting...

~So many friends willing to help

~Toddler talk

~Emma and her bunnies

~The way he doesn't want to go without me

~"Why are you so beautiful?"

~"I love you". Everyday. Faithfully.

~Hot showers

~Sisters-in-law

~Sending kids outside

~Fresh baked chocolate chip cookies

He passed a test on Tuesday....

And today, just like that,

he drove away....

by himself...

without me.

On May 17, 2004, my water broke with a great big splash outside on the front porch and 5 year old Jon's mortified "Mooommm!" still makes me chuckle. A few short hours later, Daniel entered the world on the outside and began earning his nickname--Angel Baby. Words came slowly to him, but that didn't stop him from communicating. Through gestures and sound effects, he was usually able to get his point across, with Jon translating occasionally. He loves to play football, loves to hang out with his big brothers,

and loves to work.

He takes his role as big brother very seriously, and Frick (Dan), Frack (Matt), and Freidl (Sarah) are constant companions, for better or worse.

He's a love, full of passion, very sensitive, and always takes to whatever task is before him with soberness and enthusiasm.

He's a gift. And we love him. Happy 7th birthday, DannyB!

It's a particularly difficult Monday. I would venture to guess it's because I've not been fully present in the moment. Scramble to get this done so I can move on to that while kids follow with questions and needs and life's problems loom large with no solutions on the horizon and what does this all mean anyway and sometimes I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong, and what more I could do to make it all better?

On these days it's more important than ever to count.

And remember.

"Life is not an emergency."

"This is where God is. In the present. I AM---His very name."

"The real problem of life is never a lack of time. The real problem of life--in my life--is lack of thanksgiving. Thanksgiving creates abundance and the miracle of multiplying happens when I give thanks--take the just one loaf, say it is enough, and give thanks--and He miraculously makes it more than enough."

~Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, ch. 4

#31-40

~Burn only on left hand, nowhere else

~Clean bandages

~Generosity of my husband

~Grace with customers

~Mrs. Edson, teaching piano with love

~Friends and family willing to drive

~Warm slippers on cold feet

~The way Sarah rubs her belly and says "ssss" for please

~Quiet moments in the sun on a Sunday afternoon