A place for everything, and everything in it's place

Being a parent is not easy. It's a huge blessing, and I love being a mom. But it's a hard job. And I don't always know how to go about it. At least 100 times a day I get barraged with questions, such as:

"Can I play video games?"

"Can I watch tv, or a movie?"

"Can I have a snack?"

"Can I have a friend over?"

"Can I skip school?"

"Can I go here...or there?"

"Can I buy that movie, that game?"

Often, my first answer is "I don't know" or "maybe" or "later", because I'm trying to buy time so I can think about my real answer. And often what happens is the question is asked enough times that I say yes just to make the question go away. The squeaky wheel gets the oil. Except, I'm often left dissatisfied with the outcome. And mostly because I know it's a double mindedness I'm dealing with. I second guess my instincts and get blown around by the gales that blow when I half-heartedly say "no." The kids know when I don't really mean it.

After some discussion with Ken, I decided to just say no to video games. Not because they are bad. But because I think there will be more peace in our house if I do. And I meant it. And the kids know it. And the gales turned into breezes--no begging, crying or fits. The certainty with which I made my decision left no room for argument. And there was peace today. The kids played with each other and entertained themselves, or their younger siblings. Instruments were played, school work was done, conversations were enjoyed.

And so I am thinking about the lack of structure in my life-and consequently, in my kids lives.

Because sometimes it's questions like

"Where does this go?"

"Where are my socks...underwear...pajamas...shoes?"

"Where is the bathroom cleaner..snow shovel...ice scraper?"

"What are my chores today?"

A place for everything, and everything in it's place.

I'd like to say that at 39 years old, that's my motto. But it's not. I tend to gravitate toward what's easy at the moment. I have a hard time sticking to routines. But I want to try to be a bit more routine, more structured. So that when I get asked, "Can I watch tv?", I can point to the structure, the rule, and say "no" or "yes" with certainty--lest I get blown about by the winds of doubt and uncertainty. So that when we walk in the house everyone knows where to put their shoes so they know where to find their shoes later.

It's a management issue. Things have gotten a bit loosey- goosey around here. I'm ready to start writing down some ideas for routines and structure that will help.

But first, one more question.

"Where can I find a pen?"

:>)