Isn't that something? God brought me all the way to Kissimmee, Florida to talk heart to heart with a dear woman named Molly. If you think of it, would you say a prayer for her today?
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Reaching up, reaching out
There are probably 101 possible explanations for why, on a sunny day last October my heart started fluttering like I was next in line for the spelling bee, and I was unable to fall asleep though my body was utterly exhausted and my mind was longing for the sweet nothing of slumber. I've wondered a thousand times where the anxiety came from, and why I suddenly felt so utterly overwhelmed by life, and the fear of death. For two months there was darkness. despair. sleeplessness. fear. I clung to God during those days when time seemed to stand still. When I watched the clock go from 3:23 am, to 3:24 am, 3;25 am.....He was my strong tower, though there were times when I wondered if He was with me. If maybe I was losing my mind. If I would ever feel happiness again. His Word was truly a lamp to my feet and light to my path as I blindly tried to find my way out of the tunnel, and sometimes I would find my way by following Ken's voice as he prayed and spoke comforting words through the darkest times of night. I found strength in knowing the people who love me were praying, sometimes through the night as they found themselves awake to care for little ones. It was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. And I still don't understand why it happened. But I found out last Thursday that God can use that valley in my life for His glory. As I sat with a mom, about my age, at a petting zoo in Florida, who described to the smallest detail the hell she was living. The darkness. despair. sleeplessness. fear. And I could say there was hope. It will end. She'll get through it. She's not losing her mind. And that God helped me. He can help her, too. She was uncomfortable then, and our conversation ended abruptly. But as she walked away she told me she had such peace after our conversation. And I told her I would pray for her. And I have. And I will. And I believe God will reach down His saving Hand, the Hand that is not too short, and pull her out of the darkness, and she will know it is Him who saves. Is that the reason I went through such darkness of soul? So I could one day sit across from a 39 year old mom of 5 and say, "You're going to make it, and this is how I know?" I don't know the answer to that. What I do know is, our lives are not our own. They are His. And we go through things we may not ever understand. But as we gain ground and firm footing on these jagged slopes of life, we can turn and stretch a hand to another who could use some help. Some grace. Some love.
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3 comments:
Yeah, I was there and saw it happen! And you were faithful to tell her about our God, for as much as she could hear, and I knew right then that this was all His orchestration -- that you were there in this unlikely place right when she was there, that she would share with complete strangers such intimate details of her distress, and that you would have the opening to tell her "and I prayed and it helped me" -- and that God then gave her a taste of peace. God willing, one day you'll be part of her story . . . "There was this woman, at a petting zoo, and she prayed for me, and . . . ." Is there anything more exciting than being in the middle of what God is up to? This was a "well done," Reena. You were completely gentle and compassionate with her, and who knows where it will lead?
Maureen, what a powerful testimony. My heart was filled with the compassion that you had and still have for that women. What a great post, about a very difficult time, but God was there all along. Thank you so much for sharing this... Tears are running down my cheek. Love you ♥
This is wow. So beautiful. Having had my own fluttering heart and dark, long seasons of night, I know the power of someone coming along side to say, "I know how you feel." So powerful. So beautiful. So Jesus. His power really is perfected in our weakness, isn't it?
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