Thankful on a Monday

"A nail is driven out by another nail; habit is overcome by habit." ~Erasmus

"Because the habit of discontent can only be driven out by hammering in one iron sharper. The sleek pin of gratitude. I hammer."

"A lifetime of sermons on 'thanks in all things' and the shelves sagging with books on these things and I testify: life changing gratitude does not fasten to a life unless nailed through with one very specific nail at a time."

~Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, ch 3

I have been guilty of using a broad brush to paint thanksgiving on the canvas of my life, as Ann talks about in her book. Thankful, in general, but not good at putting my finger on exactly what I'm thankful for. When I first began trying to count and list what I was thankful for, it seemed so weird...

God

Family

Friends

Health

Yep, that covers it.

Oh, and food.

And shelter.

Yeah, that's all.

How on earth was I going to get to 1000? Specificity is the key. What about God, or family, or friends, or health, today, at this moment, am I thankful for? And so began the treasure hunt, the hunt for beauty as Ann calls it. It is wildly fun to go through my days with eyes wide open searching for the sources of joy that might otherwise go unnoticed, un-named, had I continued to use the wide brush. So I sharpen the point of my paintbrush, and I will name the gifts God gives that bring me so much joy....

#21-30, and counting...

Freezer full of pork

Sisters giggling under blankets

Windows letting in sun, keeping wind out

Hot chocolate faces

Smiley children, inspiring smiles

Pancakes for breakfast, cooking done by others

Mess in my house=Life in my house

Springy breezes

Chimney fire but no need for fire department

I'm still working on specificity. And I'm getting better at seeing the blessing that exists even in the midst of frustration, or fear.

One nail at a time.

Thankful on a Monday

"Yesterday morning, the morning before, all these mornings, I wake to the discontent of life in my skin. I wake to self-hatred. To the wrestle to get it all done, the relentless anxiety that I am failing. Always, the failing. I yell at children, fester with bitterness, forget doctor appointments, lose library books, live selfishly, skip prayer, complain, go to bed too late, neglect cleaning toilets. I live tired. Afraid. Anxious. Weary. Years, I feel it in my veins, the pulsing of ruptured hopes. Would I ever be enough, find enough, do enough? But this morning, I wake wildly wanting to live.....Is that the message of nightmares and dreams? To live either fully alive....or in empty nothingness? It's the in between that drives us mad. It's the life in between, the days of waking lifeless, the years calloused and simply going through the hollow motions, the self protecting by self-distracting, the body never waking, that's lost all capacity to fully feel-this is the life in between that makes us the wild walking dead....

We only enter into the full life if our faith gives thanks."

~Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, ch 2

I have felt like the walking dead at times. Invisible person endlessly trying to slay all that my flesh demands, mechanically reaching arm into washing machine to place clothes in the dryer that will be dried, folded, worn and thrown right back into this very washer. Monotony. Futility. So it would seem. Unless---I can do it with thankful heart for another day to live and breathe with husband and children who wear the clothes and machines to lighten the load and home for us to be dressed in and yard for us to get dirty in. When I purpose to give thanks for everything, in everything, my eyes open to a world of wonder...grace...joy. This is real, for me today.

Fully living because I'm fully thankful.

And so, #11-20, and counting....

~To be happy, honk. Words to live by.

~Classical music. Instant relaxation.

~Warm legs for cold feet

~Faithful man with big hugs

~Health, wholeness, safety under His wings

~Late night reading, side by side

~Being called "Mama"

~5 siblings in the snow

~Young men with soft hearts

~Heart shaped light reflecting, reminding me to love

Thankful on a Monday

"I wonder too....if the rent in the canvas of our life backdrop, the losses that puncture our world, our own emptiness, might actually become places to see. To see through to God. That that which tears open our souls, those holes that splatter our sight, may actually become the thin, open places to see through the mess of this place to the heart-aching beauty beyond. To Him. To the God whom we endlessly crave."

~Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, chapter 1

I've dealt with messes, losses, emptiness...some long ago, some so fresh it aches still--they will me to look up, look beyond the pain that can be part of this life's portion. Sometimes we don't recognize the beauty beyond the thin places until years later. Perspective changes as time passes. I do crave God, His beauty. So I'm hunting, noticing, keeping eyes open to see His beauty in my every day life...

#1-10, and always counting.....

*Clean slate of a new day

*Warm floors under cold feet

*Science experiments at 8 am, just because

*White blanket of beauty on February's fields

*Bunny tracks on undisturbed snow

*Words that bring inspiration and healing

*Dinner bubbling in the crockpot

*Heart to hearts with Andrew

*Toddler kisses

*Cousins all day

Outside play

An afternoon with the neighbors, whose pictures we post only in our hearts,

included sandbox, swings, and rides in the wagon. I'm kind of embarrassed by how dirty Sarah's coat is, but I haven't had time to wash it since her excursion to the barn and the great "oil incident."

Was it fun? Her face says it all.

We're enjoying the great outdoors, now that spring is finally here.

Playing wiffle ball....err...I mean using wiffle bats as swords...Sarah knows when it's time to move out of the way!

Andrew shows restraint, like a good big brother...

Until...

They had fun, in spite of the welts--or maybe, because of them? I'm convinced young men need a dose of pain every day.

Discovering the paparazzi, Andrew turned on the camera man, I mean, mom.

the end

Spring has arrived!

She wanted bunnies.

So the Builder and the animal lover built the ultimate bunny hutch.

He asked for chicks to take care of.

And everyone enjoys their soft cuteness.

What's more fun than trying to keep a toddler from breaking your Christmas ornaments? How about trying to keep your toddler from smushing the chicks?

Yeah, she's cute.